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First of all, there is no years-long conversion period. Yet we do exist.īecoming a Carlinist is very simple and practicing it requires very little effort, so it’s perfect for a lazy soul-searcher. Alas, since Carlinism in itself breeds anti-religious sentiment, it’s hard to get us all together as a religious congregation. It’s been around for a long time growing through the caring tentacles of the world-wide web and there are already tons of people around the world who refer to themselves as Carlinists. I have to say first of all that I did not invent Carlinism.
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You know, Illuminati-type shit.Īlso, the idea of belonging to a made-up religion (That statement is a bit redundant since all religion is made-up) that follows the sayings of someone who was fervently anti-religious is the kind of giddy irony that’s too hard to pass up. Calling yourself a Carlinist without explaining what it is makes it sound like you belong to a secret sect that has been hidden for thousands of years. Why? First of all, it sounds cool, which I’m sure Carlin would appreciate. So that’s what I decided to do for myself and became a Carlinist, a disciple of the raw and brutally honest philosophy of the late comedian George Carlin. But what do you do when none of the other religions tickle your dogmatic fancy and you’re tired of being called an “atheist without balls” whenever you tell someone that you’re a non-deistic agnostic.Įven a made-up religion with an impressive-sounding name is better than that. Yet the need to belong to a religion or at least a structured form of belief is an integral part of any human being, no matter how far we’d like to run from it.
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And when was the last time you heard of a congregation of agnostics gathering at the agnostic temple to once and for all declare that things might be, or might not be possible? So where can someone like me belong? With the atheists? They’re more opinionated and dickish than a lot of religious sects. Unfortunately, becoming part of a religious congregation comes with having to pretend that I believe in the existence of an invisible man in the sky (or “a higher power, as you know him”, yeah right, like that’s any different) or at least playing along with their quaint traditions and games while counting the seconds for the beginning of a normal social transaction. After all, we are tribal creatures by nature, none of us can live completely alone and be an individual in the truest sense. I have to admit I do like the idea of belonging to a certain group of people and becoming part of their community. And before you know it, fuck the yard, I forgot to do the dishes third day in a row.Īnother advantage of religion is a sense of community and belonging. Since I don’t come pre-programmed with clear and detailed instructions, I have to allocate a good half of my daily thoughts to endless unanswered questions about my purpose and function.
#George carlin youtube souls god how to
If you convince your mind at an early point in your life that you absolutely, positively know where you come from, what you are meant to do in this world and where you will go after you die, your analytical mind is left with enough space to cram in hours of thoughts every day about how to keep your yard looking pristine. The more dogmatic and deep-rooted the faith, the cleaner the yard. But I have to admit I do understand the need for belonging to a certain faith and the culture and community that comes with admitting yourself to that faith.įirst of all, people of faith tend to have clean houses and impeccable yards and I envy that. Living a religion-free life has its many advantages, one of them being the ability to appreciate rational thought (Relax, just wanted to get a rise out of you). My mother was very secular and my father was such a light atheist, he was a borderline agnostic. Unlike George Carlin who was a Catholic until he “reached the age of reason”, I didn’t grow up with any form of religion or religious culture.